Chopsticks and Fork

Last week, I mentioned how celebrating Vietnamese New Year's helps me to embrace my heritage. Being Vietnamese is part of my identity. I often think about Gracie and wonder what I can do to help her grow up with a healthy identity of her own. In our society nowadays, it's so easy to just gloss over everything, and assume that we live in an age where people are accepted no matter what ethnic backgrounds they come from. It's ideal, but not reality. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked by people if Gracie is mine. I am well aware that for the rest of my life, I will be asked that question. There is nothing that could cause me to reflect on my identity and who I am more than when a person questions whether or not my daughter is mine, simply because of how she looks. I've often been told that Gracie looks like her dad. Does she really look like Jason, or is it because she doesn't have distinct Asian features so people naturally think she doesn't look like me? I don't want Gracie to grow up feeling like she has to decide between two cultures: her mom or her dad's. Or, that since she's multi-racial, that she doesn't have a cultural background to call her own. There are so many stereotypes that she is going to have to come to terms with. In a book I read last year about raising multi-racial kids, some "mixed kids" often feel "mixed up." Being told that a person is part of one thing and part of another often makes them feel as if they aren't "whole." We're going to try and help Gracie understand that she is fully Vietnamese and fully white/Mennonite. She is a whole person. We're going to try and introduce her to as much of our cultures as we can. From her mom's culture, that includes learning how to use chopsticks.

Gracie embracing her cultural identity: chopsticks AND fork